So Much

I've been trying to write blog posts for weeks now.
There is so much going on it's hard to even put it all into words.

The husband and I celebrated our 2nd Anniversary 2 weeks ago. Our wedding
still feels like yesterday! I love this man more than I thought possible, and the
love continues to grow.  There's so much more I could say about this but that's
between the two of us.

I'm 5 1/2 months pregnant now,  I'm halfway there.  The little man has been
dancing up a storm (possibly an early sign that my fantasy of him being the
next Mikhail Baryshnikov or Fred Astaire will come true??)
Been back and forth with feeling overwhelmed by the whole thing, mostly
on the emotional front.  Creating life is mind blowing and so is carrying it
around inside of you. The occasional realization that the husband and I are
actually going to be someone's parents is a lot to take in.  On the flip side
there is the majority of the time that I feel completely OK with
all of these things. But like all gigantic life changes fear and doubt
creep in now and again.

The holidays are rapidly approaching and I'm excited for them.
I'm so ready to make our house cozy and festive and to spend
as much time with family and friends as possible.  There is something
magical about this time of year, I love the building momentum at work
and the planning of gifts, cards and decor at home.

Latest Obsessions

*Cranberries are back!
I'm such a dork at the market, when new seasonal things
start to show up my face lights up with excitement. I doubt
that many people get as excited over cranberries as I do.
I love seasonal produce and I don't care who knows it!!
These cranberries are destined for a pie.

*Binging on Horror 
It's October, the only time of the year when the husband will
agree to watch scary movies. So we are doing our usual
horror movie marathon, and throwing in a few shows as well.
Also in the mix (obviously) are my favorite old-school Halloween
cartoons/movies that are more of the fluffy sort, Grinch Night,
Hocus Pocus, Practical Magic, etc.

*Biscuits
I've been trying to perfect my biscuit game for years, and it has
finally happened. Each batch in the last few months has been fluffy,
flaky, and ideally crisped on top and bottom. The summer was strictly
buttermilk, but for the fall I've mixed it up with sweet potato.
I should clarify that even though through facebook and instagram
it may seem like all of my baking and cooking endeavors go very well
it's only because I choose to leave out my horrible failures.
Which is why I am always extra proud of the things that turn out perfectly
because it doesn't always happen, but that is the grand adventure of the kitchen.

*The Glorious Second Trimester
Ladies weren't lyin' when they said it would get easier in the 2nd.
I finally feel like my normal self (albeit with a small bump in my midsection).
My energy is back, I can actually focus on projects  & cooking, and I can actually
stay up until midnight. Small victories.


* "And above all,  watch with glittering eyes the whole world 
around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden 
in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic 
will never find it." -Roald Dahl

Mantra

I started a book of mantras for myself,
something that I can read, recite, and believe in.
It acts as a lighthouse would for a ship stuck in a storm,
calling it back and guiding it to safety.

The nice thing about writing mantras for yourself is that they
can be anything.  Most of them start with "You will" or You are"
and just restate things you know to be true but can easily forget about.
They can be as epic as you want them to be which, for me, makes
them even more empowering.

Pregnancy truly puts you through tests of strength. Physical, emotional, spiritual..
It's intense.  I know that mantras aren't for everyone but they work for me.
And really, that's all you need to find. Things that work for you.

A Sour Sweet Wind Blows In

There is something magical about the transition
of summer into autumn.
The peaches and tomatoes slowly turn
to apples and pumpkins.
The air becomes crisp and light,
and our internal clocks begin to reset as
the sun sets earlier and earlier.
Richer smells of cinnamon spiced desserts
and hearty roasted dinners begin to fill the house.

I'm ready to decorate for Halloween,
 cozy up on the couch with scary movies,
eat these pumpkin brownies I just baked,
and welcome in a new season.

Latest Obsessions

*Mozzarella Cheese
All summer I've been splurging on this huge $9 ball of
Mozzarella at our farmer's market. I cannot get enough.
I think I've eaten my weight in caprese this year.

*Trying to make it October
I kind of treat Halloween like Christmas, I extend the celebration
to the entire month. I love decorating and watching scary movies,
drinking spiked cider (though this year I will just have a sparkling
cider, been dying to try the Aaron Burr stuff) Anyway, cider tangent,
I've already tried weaseling Hocus Pocus into my nightly going-to-bed
movie and the husband called me out on it.  Only 15 days to go,
I'll start my scary movie list in the meantime.

*This recipe
Really delicious, super easy. Definitely a keeper.
Also starting to file away really easy recipes for when
baby shows up.

*This basket
I rarely buy stuff for the home, I'd rather spend my
money on food, wine, and books. For some reason this basket just
called to me and I actually listened. I love the neon pom poms, and
I think it fits nicely into our living room.

*Noble Rot Zine
Finally, a magazine about wine that doesn't suck.

*Buffy & Daria
Hulu has a whole 90's show section and I've fallen down
rabbit holes with both of these shows. Thoroughly enjoying
the nostalgia trip.

6 months

That span of time sounds like both an eternity and no time at all.
About 6 months from now the husband and I will be welcoming
a new person into this world.  It's pretty overwhelming when you
think of it that way.. Someone who is an extension of you but
with an independent spirit, interests, and thoughts.

The first few months have felt like a mental training scene from
a martial arts movie. Strengthening your mind to prepare for what's coming.
I've been reading all of my natural pregnancy books, and doing visualizations
and mantras. That's my jam and that's how I'm handling this.

So I don't think there will be monthly photos charting my growth, or a general
play-by-play of what's happening.  This whole thing feels very personal
(which seems funny to say, because obviously it is) and for once in my life
I don't want to share everything. But that could change, everything could change,
this whole process is really about taking each day as it comes. So that is what
I'm trying to do.

I'm excited to meet this person and see what they are about.

A Part of the Sea

I woke up Wednesday morning and knew that I needed
to be in the ocean.  I couldn't explain this urgency,
but just like the day I woke up and needed to go to Berlin,
I had to make it to the beach.  Thankfully, the fare to Rockaway
is much less than the fare to Germany.

It took me 3 times to actually muster up the courage to go
under. The waves were surprisingly large and rough, and the
temperature was shockingly cold at first
-typical for the Northern Atlantic.

It was the kind of day when a dip in the ocean felt like
so much more than it was. I felt connected to the ocean on
Wednesday, and it was a beautiful thing.