Magic Morning

I think that there are two times each day when
magic is very possible.  Sunrise and sunset.
Yesterday I found myself up with the sun and
heading into the city to have breakfast in bed
with a very dear friend.




















The beauty that exists at these magic times
of the day can be overwhelming.




















The breakfast was delicious and the company
was even better. How often do you get to
lounge in bed with a best friend and just
talk about everything?

It helps on so many levels.
Gaining a different perspective,
de-stressing, resetting your mind,
and hopefully helping them to do
the same.




















A bonus of the morning was that I got to
take a bubble bath. Because our tub at home
is a craphole, I take fancy bath opportunities
anywhere I can. I gave a generous pour of  my
treasured Aesop rose bath gel, got the water
as hot as I could stand it, and just sunk in.





















I left the hotel and headed to work,
feeling so refreshed and happy. Inspired
by my friend's positive attitude and ray of light.
I will try to embrace the fact that life doesn't
feel so balanced and enjoy these magic moments
as they happen.

Autumn Brunch

Before baby I tried to have friends over

for seasonal brunches/gatherings once or

twice a year.  I especially loved doing

something in the fall when the cool

breeze starts to roll in and the house

starts to feel extra cozy.  

This year we've been meeting friends

out instead of entertaining.  But next

year I hope to get back into these brunches.

For now all the ideas are living on pinterest, 

feel free to click through for Autumn inspiration.

   

Follow Littlebunny's board Autumn Brunch on Pinterest.

Like Lightning

I think I've stated before that I take it
seriously when things present themselves
to me more than once. Maybe it's nothing
but it's always worth investigating.

Recently The Wild Unknown Tarot deck
has presented itself to me more than once.
I had started to notice it a few weeks ago
and then it showed up more often. Finally
I was in ABC Carpet and Home yesterday
and there it was, staring me in the face.

That was that.

I drew my first card today,
asking what I needed to focus on
today and this came up

Ace of Swords:Truth & Mental Clarity
"Your mind will become
clear, your thoughts precise"

Spot on.

I'm looking forward to getting to know these cards.
The husband is really not a fan of the tarot but I've always
liked it. It's not so much witchcraft as it is finding a
connection with yourself. Reflecting on things
and finding, as the card says, mental clarity.

Lonesome Dove

There are plenty of things that no one tells
you about being a Mom. One of those things
is that you find yourself being painfully lonely.
Yes, your baby is always around, husband,
work folks- whoever. Somehow
it doesn't take away that feeling.

I felt the same when I first moved to NYC
10 years ago (yes, it's really been a full decade).
In a city of millions of people I felt so alone.
That changed of course as I began to carve out
my little place in this  big city,  I made friends,
had different jobs,  volunteered, went out, dated.
All of that helped to create a wonderful little network
of people that often feel more like family than friends.

But this is different, I don't have that kind of time
anymore and it's harder to keep in touch with friends.
Because when I actually do have time to make a phone
call,  I'm too tired or I just don't feel like talking.
Especially if I feel sad or overwhelmed, I can imagine
that no one wants to hear about that in the short time we
have to catch up. But sometimes I just need to get it out,
to just release it-which is what  the blog is for, I guess.

I know that only 6 months into this I've barely
scratched the surface of parenthood and I'm still
finding my way, striving to find any kind of
balance (which, I swear, does not truly exist
in this country- but that's another post altogether)
The whole point of having children is so that
you can spend time together as a family. How
can you do that when both parents work full time
and have to stagger their schedules to be
able to afford childcare? That's not right.

Which is how I find myself in a black hole
sometimes. It feels good when my Mom is here,
to have someone to talk to and laugh with, and I love
Sundays with the husband and fudge.  But the remaining
4 days of the week I feel very much alone. And
it's not the kind of alone time that I want.

This won't be a post with a resolution at the end, because
this is still a puzzle I'm trying to solve.  Motherhood
is an onion- so many layers.  I can feel alone but not sad,
I can love my baby to pieces and feel frustrated with him,
I can feel different every single day, and I do. Sometimes
all it takes is saying (or typing) things to help to clear the air.
So this is me, trying to clear the air.

Latest Obsessions

Gone are the days of truly taking the time for things.
I catch free time when I can.  I'd like to get back into
regular posts and what better way to start than
with some obsessions

*Mad Men- yes I know I'm late to the party on this one
but I'm finally watching and loving every minute.

*Plated- This is a godsend for new parents.  They send you
a box with all the ingredients for whatever recipes you choose.
The meals take about 30-45 minute to make.
We have been using it since March and have only had maybe
2 meals that we didn't love.  I always make sure to order things
that I wouldn't normally do- like lettuce wraps, pupusas, lamb
burgers. I have a few free weeks to give away, let me know if you
want to try.

*Box Kite- Finally, a good coffee place opened near where I work.
If you know me at all, you will know that few things make me
happier than a well made cappuccino.

*The Fall Harvest - I never want summer to end but I really
do love the fall and all of its treats.  I look forward to
cranberries, cider, brussel sprouts, roasting up pumpkin and
squash seeds, and showing the petit goose how magical
Autumn can be.

*The 6 month magical mark- Petit goose is super fun these days,
he will be 6 months old in 4 days and it's a good age to be. He
laughs a lot, is moving non-stop, loves to read books, and is
getting into snuggling.  I love our mornings where we all just
lounge in bed. Precious times.

*Getting my act together- I'm hoping to get a real website going
soon. Where you can view my art, pick my brain about wine, and
connect to  the blog. Sometimes the craziest times inspire action.
Stay tuned.

*The surf beach at Rockaway- less crowded, good shells, and a
lovely little coconut stand.

It's already tomorrow in Japan.

I've been trying to write a post about motherhood
for months now.  There is constantly so much
going on that writing a single post seemed impossible.

Because I cannot accurately write a cohesive paragraph
on the subject I'm just going to revert to my very safe and
trusty list.

*Motherhood is hard.

*I now feel like I am spread so thin, trying to be a mother,
wife, and full-time worker. I desperately want to exceed at all
of these things and find myself feeling like I just don't measure
up.

*I am too hard on myself. I'm working on this constantly.

*The love I have for this petit goose is overwhelming and epic.

*I fed my baby formula and it's OK. He sleeps in bed with us
sometimes and it's OK. I don't let him cry it out and it's OK.
You do what works and you support others that are just trying
to make it work. Stop with the Mommy Shaming.

*It's OK to cry, once again, being a parent is hard.

*I feel lucky to have such a sweet little boy, who we can take
everywhere with us and he just goes with the flow.

*My body is not the same, I'm learning to love it again.

*My body did an amazing thing. It grew and birthed a tiny
person. I need to give this body more credit than I do.

*I love and appreciate my husband so much.
It's hard on him, too.

*It really does take a village. Accept help and ask for it when needed.

*Finding time for yourself is necessary. You need it.
So does your partner. Get a massage, have dinner with a friend,
have date night, see a movie.
Whatever. It's SO necessary.

*Millions of people grew up without the help of parenting books,
sleep training, breast feeding, and whatever else.
Things work themselves out. Every baby is different and
all parents are different. Find your way.

I suppose that's it for now. There isn't a way for me to put
a lot of my feelings into words, it's just too big.  I think it's
a good thing to speak honestly about this whole ordeal.
No one wants to say it's hard because it feels like you are
admitting failure- but that's not true.  We need to
open up the conversation and just offer support.
We're all in this together.